Show Them Their Superpowers

“To inspire people, don’t show them your superpowers; show them theirs.”

- Alexander Den Hejjer

I find inspiration in quotes and ideas that apply broadly across self-growth, leadership, and learning. Often, insights from business and leadership on empowering others translate well to education and parenting, particularly when we focus on fostering children’s unique strengths from a young age. If we want to inspire self-assured, capable adults, then these concepts should take root early in life, shaping learning and development.

In leadership and management, effective inspiration involves not showcasing our strengths but enabling others to see and value their own. People want to feel uplifted, authentic, and appreciated after an interaction.  

This principle also applies to personal relationships. The best connections allow us to feel genuinely ourselves, inspired not by someone else's qualities but by the way we’re encouraged to shine in our own. This cycle of inspiration is powerful. 

Translating this approach to child development highlights the importance of strength-based learning. Imagine if education focused less on what’s lacking and more on individual strengths, nurturing each child's unique “superpowers.” Currently, education often highlights deficiencies rather than celebrating what’s working. The “window analogy” illustrates this well: we tend to focus on flaws—the smudges—over the clarity. While growth is essential, an overemphasis on fixing flaws leads to comparison and self-doubt, while a focus on strengths encourages confidence.

To help children see their superpowers, I suggest three steps:

1. Slow Down

In a fast-paced world, it’s easy to focus on tasks and efficiency, yet slowing down creates the space to truly connect with children, honoring their experiences and feelings. When your child comes home excited, pause and give your full attention. It can be tempting to multitask or brush it off in favor of routine tasks, but slowing down is about presence and prioritizing the moment.

For example, if your child is thrilled about something they learned, resist the urge to hurry them into the next thing. Instead, take a deep breath, sit with them, and say, “Tell me more about it!” Be genuinely curious. Ask open-ended questions like, “What made that so interesting for you?” or “How did that make you feel?” This not only makes them feel valued but also teaches them to articulate their passions and interests. Such moments build trust and foster a sense of security, allowing children to feel that their inner world is important and worthy of attention.

Over time, this practice of slowing down and showing genuine interest in their experiences reinforces their self-worth and strengthens their awareness of what truly excites them. This is a subtle yet powerful way to encourage children to keep exploring and deepening their interests.

2. Allow Autonomy to Try and Quit

Autonomy is essential for developing self-confidence, decision-making, and resilience. By giving children the freedom to explore their interests—and the space to stop if it no longer feels right—we teach them that self-discovery is a journey. In a world where schedules are often packed, leaving room for children to experiment and “fail forward” is vital.

Let them choose activities, and don’t rush to structure their time too rigidly. For instance, if they want to try a new hobby, like pottery or coding, support their curiosity. If they later decide it's not for them, resist the urge to label it as “quitting.” Instead, normalize the idea that sometimes our interests change and encourage a reflective conversation: “What did you enjoy about it? What didn’t work for you?” These conversations emphasize learning from experiences rather than simply focusing on the endpoint.

Quitting something isn’t failure—it’s clarity. When children have permission to make their own choices and reflect on them, they develop a clearer sense of self, including what drives them and what doesn’t. By giving children room to experiment and discontinue activities without shame, we empower them to discover what genuinely resonates and what skills or interests are truly worth pursuing.

3. Focus on What You Want to Grow

Focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses helps cultivate a positive mindset, encouraging children to build on their unique abilities. When a child does something well, acknowledge it in a specific and meaningful way. This reinforces their strengths and encourages them to repeat behaviors that come naturally to them, leading to genuine growth and self-assurance.

In practice, use the “feedback sandwich” to deliver balanced encouragement. Let’s say your child gives a presentation in class and is feeling self-conscious. You could start with, “I loved how you shared your ideas confidently. It showed a lot of courage!” Then add constructive feedback in a gentle way, like, “One thing to consider for next time might be to slow down just a little bit, so people can really take in your words.” End on another positive note, such as, “Overall, I’m so impressed with how much effort you put in. It was clear you cared about what you were saying.”

The key here is to notice and amplify their strengths while providing constructive growth feedback in a supportive context. When we focus on what we want to grow, children internalize the message that they have valuable traits and abilities, which are worth cultivating. They learn to see themselves as capable individuals with strengths that can be harnessed and improved over time, creating a foundation of self-worth that fuels lifelong curiosity and resilience.

“To inspire people, don’t show them your superpowers; show them theirs.”

This quote speaks to the heart of human flourishing, reminding us that true inspiration lies in empowering others to recognize their own strengths. By adopting principles from leadership and applying them to child development, we can foster a sense of self-worth and potential in young people from an early age. Rather than focusing on deficits, we can create strength-based environments that celebrate individual abilities, allowing children to feel seen and valued. Three key practices support this: slowing down to be present, allowing autonomy to explore and release interests freely, and focusing on strengths rather than flaws. When we engage with children in this way, they are encouraged to build confidence, resilience, and a sense of purpose, equipping them with the inner resources needed for lifelong learning and growth. In nurturing these superpowers, we set the foundation for their thriving as individuals who understand and embrace their unique contributions to the world.